


approaching normalcy

by kerrykins



Category: Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
Genre: Drabble, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-24 02:25:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18160241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerrykins/pseuds/kerrykins
Summary: Eleanor and Rachel don't know what they're doing, but they don't want it to end.





	approaching normalcy

**Author's Note:**

> Initially this was supposed to be a sequel to "it never ends" but I realised that it would probably be better as a standalone. Writing block had been hitting me so this story was annoying to write. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

I.

 

Without fail, Rachel shows up at Eleanor’s hotel room every night for the next month. And without fail, Eleanor unravels under her fingers with just a few teasing touches and a couple words of praise. It’s exhilarating.

 

She feels invincible when Rachel moans her name, and gives soft gasps when Eleanor goes on her knees for her.  _ Yes, yes, more, that’s so good, oh my god, Eleanor--  _ Rachel yanks her hair and Eleanor finds that she doesn’t mind. Nothing can ruin this for her.

 

But the feeling is fleeting, and when Rachel takes her inevitable leave every morning, Eleanor falls apart. It’s not the good kind of falling, it’s the kind where she’s bitter and lost. She wants to get as far away from Rachel Chu as she can. She’s cheating on her husband, who she hasn’t seen in a year. She needs to stop this, because Eleanor knows it’s wrong, even though it feels so right. It’s wrong, even though Eleanor has never been so happy. She must keep her priorities in check and learn to watch her impulses. That is the way she’s lived her entire life, so why is it so difficult for her to go back to that?

 

Eleanor hadn’t planned on any of this happening. She doesn’t know why she pushed Rachel up against that wall or why she lets Rachel into her room every time. It’s all a mistake, a large mistake that she needs to rectify. She’s upset that she’s allowed herself to lose control like this.

 

When she’s with Rachel, again, everything stops hurting. Eleanor wishes it could stay that way forever.

 

___

 

II.

 

Rachel doesn’t ever know what Eleanor’s thinking. She’s not really talkative, which isn’t much of a surprise. When they’re finished, they don’t cuddle or chat much. Eleanor just looks at her, appearing lost in thought, while Rachel tries to psychoanalyse every change in her facial expression. She’s never successful in guessing whatever’s on Eleanor’s mind, which is a little annoying considering how aware the older woman seems to be of her.

 

The sex is fantastic, and at first it was just that. But now it’s different. More meaningful, somehow, though they’ve been doing it in the same room, at eight o’clock every night, and the duvets are tucked into the mattress the same way they always have. Eleanor still smells like fancy hotel shampoo and whispers into Rachel’s ear.

 

Rachel starts leaving work earlier, so she can get there in time to have dinner with Eleanor, who orders room service. They talk a little bit then, but it’s only a couple off-handed remarks from Eleanor, while Rachel leads the conversation. Sometimes she worries she’s talking too much, but the older woman seems content to just listen and nod along. 

 

When she has the time, Rachel buys ingredients from Chinatown and they prepare meals together in the suite’s kitchen. Eleanor takes cooking really seriously, like she does with everything, but her heavenly Hokkien prawn mee still comes as a shock. Rachel has a hunch that Eleanor’s trying to impress her, because the lady always look so smug whenever she gushes over how amazing the food is. Rachel asks her a lot of questions about food, and Eleanor practically purrs with pleasure when she answers them. 

 

She doesn’t talk about Nick, Philip, or anything regarding her life in Singapore. Except for one time, where she’d had too much red wine and was in a good mood after sex. She tells Rachel about how she and her friends would beg their parents to let them walk to school in the mornings. There was a river winding down the road and in the spring, they’d be filled with tadpoles that all the schoolchildren would scoop up in mason jars. They’d trade them during recess.

 

Eleanor’s pretty quiet. She fucks like it’s her job, ever the efficient worker, and the only noises she makes are little whimpers when Rachel’s inside her. But lately she’s been actually saying stuff.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Eleanor croons one night. “Oh, I can’t get enough of you. Come for me.” Needless to say, Rachel did just that. It’s sort of unbelievable that this woman, the one who’d basically told her she was worthless, is willing to spend so much time with her. And Rachel would be lying if she says that she didn’t find Eleanor bossing around super hot.

 

But recently she’d be thinking: what the hell were they doing? Eleanor’s married, and her son was Rachel’s ex-boyfriend, and if word got out about them, everything would be ruined. Rachel’s career, Eleanor’s reputation. It’s a scary thought.

 

Eleanor is going back to Singapore tomorrow, and tonight might be the last time they see each other. Rachel isn’t going to kid herself. Her life has been revolving around Eleanor ever since their affair started, and if it just fell in on itself, she wouldn’t know what to do. 


End file.
